God is Watching

I had a rough day today. I have been in tears more times than I can count. Jacob is overtired and so the fits and arguing have increased and it is mentally and emotionally exhausting. Zachary decided not to take a nap today, so that frustrated me as well. Today is Zachary's birthday (I hope to have a happier post on that later), and we are trying to get ready for all three boys' party on Saturday (the house hasn't been cleaned in who knows when), so I just think I am a little stressed.

Then as I was cleaning up a few things this evening, I was reading the rest of the church newsletter that has gotten discarded under piles of things on our island. I wanted to get it in the recycle bin so I was skimming it. At the very end, I found this. I don't know who wrote it, I would like to give them credit if anyone knows. It goes like this:

When you thought I wasn't looking...

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator and immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wsn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give time and money to help people who had nothing, and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it, and I learned that we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grew up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but that it is alright to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give Daddy a big hug and I knew it was alright to love someone without holding back.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I often wanted to say, "Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking," but I couldn't because then you would know I was peeking.


Wow! These words hit me like a ton of bricks. God is always watching me and knows just what I need to hear. He put these words in front of me and had me in tears again, but this time, the tears were for a different reason. I try so hard to help my children with right and wrong and sometimes feel as if I am always correcting them. I need to remember that God is in control and if I can just be the person He wants me to be, I can be the example that my children need in order to be the people that God wants them to be. So while it's okay to cry about things, I need them to be about the things that really matter.

Life, it seems, will take care of itself.
B