Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Time Away

My first babies are leaving me tomorrow.

Now before you start to worry, let me clarify that Jacob and Kyle are going to my in-laws for 5 days. They love to go and are totally looking forward to it.

I'm looking forward to it as well, but it also still makes me a little sad.

See, I have lots of friends whose children will not leave their parents to play at my house. It makes me sad, but I end up sending my children away from me since they are perfectly fine without me. Does that make me a good mom or a bad mom?

See, my in-laws have graciously offered to take the boys for a few days every summer since they were one and I never let them go until they were three. It has nothing to do with the quality of care I think they will receive, it has everything to do with me trying to hold onto them. I want to be the most important influence in their lives, but I also want them to feel comfortable when I'm not around. Since they are so comfortable when I am not around, am I losing that influence over them that I so desperately want to have? Have I swung the pendulum too far one way?

I try to remember that I get to have time alone with just Zachary and Alyssa. We are going to go to the lake for the weekend and that means that they also get to have time alone with my family. These are good things, I just keep reminding myself of that. That, and the fact they when they come home, they talk my ear off about all the cool stuff they did at Grandma and Papa Iowa's house!

Have fun boys! But know that I will miss you!

Love you!


The Bakers said...

It's a good thing they are okay without you and seek you when they return. It means they are securely attached which is a positive influnce that will last a life time! You're a great mom - love ya!!!

Anonymous said...

Beth, glad to see you are posting again. Had a fun weekend with Alyssa and Zachary and I know the Boys had a good time in Iowa.