I was telling Alyssa's birth story the other night to some friends and I had a memory that I had forgotten about. I wanted to write it down so that I don't forget about it again because I think it is just about the sweetest thing that my mom has ever said to me--not that there haven't been other sweet things, but this has stuck with me.
My mom was supposed to be with me for the birth of Alyssa--my only daughter, my last child, I wanted my mom in there. However, due to the speed of her birth, my mom didn't make it. She arrived about 10 minutes or so after Alyssa was born, around 10:00 or so. She stayed with us and hung out through my recovery time and through the move to the postpartum room. My mom has this intense fear of being over-present in our lives so she tends to go a little too far in the opposite direction and I wish she was around a bit more.
So I kept waiting for her to feel like she was intruding and say she was going home to get some sleep, it was after 1:00 in the morning by now. However, she stayed, and I don't remember exactly what I said, but it was something like, "You don't have to stay if you don't want to, but you are welcome to." Her response was something that just struck me and I don't think I'll ever forget it. She replied,
"I'm not ready to go yet."
I don't know why I love her so much for saying those words, but it makes me tear up just thinking about it and picturing that night. It just reminded me how much Alyssa and I are connected to her and how much I want my daughter to grow up to be just like her. She is so strong and seems to need no one, but at that brief moment in time, I saw that she needs us, maybe not as much as we need her, but some, and that meant all the world to me.